Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Okay they aren’t really. But that is how it always feels when a REAL LIFE friend reads my blog. I mean, I got no secrets. I don’t. It’s ALL out there. Trust. However, I was a different person three years ago. And yes the archives go that far back. Further by now. Do I really want folks prying that deep that I see on a regular basis face to face? Weird, right? Who thinks of these things? But it happens…
You have to understand. My blog started at a time when I had no friends outside of work. Well, I had a few, but you see what I am saying. I had whittled my social circle to a very select few. (Granted, it was on purpose.. but still) I blogged to get my shit out there. I missed the socializing, I was jealous of the folks I saw online with this semi-anonymous outlet of fabulousness. So I got one. Sure over time, and not as much time as you’d think, I had a handful of online friends. It was cool. Safe. I’d never be face to face with these people, right? So I could continue to write about anything. The guy at the gyms BO, or the slut on the BART train, or my boss, even my boyfriend. Anything went! It was all good. But the more time you spend on this amazing place we call the internet, the more entwined with your life it gets. At least in my experience. My blog has given me an amazing gift. Real friends. I have actually met real people through this silly site of mine! Moving is the biggest example tho. Uprooting my whole life to San Diego was not easy. I lived in the same area for most of my life. I was comfortable. When I moved, my online life became more important. These online folks where the only folks I knew! When I got to San Diego and already had a few connections I felt lucky. Heck, I knew Fred before I got here! The blog and me started to become one. Not creepy like, but because it was no longer a separate outlet. It was reality. It was where I lived with my new real-ish and actual friends.
I lately find myself in a new situation. I have been here long enough, and the branches of the first friendships have grown into new friends. But now I am a ‘blogger’. Folks know this about me, due to my roots in this town (total drama phrasing, but how else do I describe it?), they meet me, then my blog. My Richard has a blog now too! We are both online with our life! Thus, my title and issue. My panties are showing. People I know in REAL LIFE are going to my blog and jumping into the dp.com time machine. Reading me. It’s a bit intimate all of a sudden. Does that make sense? I don’t know if I like it. I mean, the front page is fine. I think, looking at my posts lately, that I am filtering. Heck, I may as well send my folks the url, I am so filtered… Not that that is a good thing. I know. The beauty is the lack of a filter. I get that. That’s why I have the members only content. BUT I now have REAL LIFE folks as members too. And how do you exclude those folks, that can question you during dinner about your latest hidden post??
I don’t know. Where am I going with this? What is my point? If hundreds and thousands of people I never met have access to my insanity, why not 10 folks I actually know and can touch? What is the difference? The folks I know won’t (or had better not!) judge. I am the type of person they keep company with after all. Heh. I guess I just got spoiled with it being a separate place in my life. Now dp.com is pretty close to home.
What do you think? Should I try to separate the blog from life, or go forward from here and embrace the change?
I know EXACTLY what you mean. In some ways, it doesn’t really make sense. Why is it ok for the whole world to know your most personal thoughts but not your friends and family? I obviously have some very close real-life friends who I am totally comfortable with reading my blog. But then there are others that would give me pause, but not really the ones that I met online in the first place. Maybe it depends on how long you’ve been friends. When you figure it out, do let me know!
P.S. Happy Halloween!
P.S.S. When did Richard get a blog?!!Posted by laura on 10/31 at 07:42 AMI was having a similar conversation with a friend at work today. i have a handful of real-life friends that read my blog reguilarly, that’s how they keep up with what’s going on in my life. then there are the co-workers. a few know that i have a blog and only 2 or 3 have actually seen it. i think another co-worker (someone i would prefer to not ever see anything i have online or in real life) has said a few things that lead me to believe he’s seen my site. this person is not a close friend and i have been just a little creeped out. i was saying today that i would rather have total strangers read my stuff than most people i know in real life. it’s a touchy subject. i mean you put your stuff out there for all to see, but why is it so weird when someone you know in person sees it too.?
By the way, I loved the pic of Richard’s Batman costume, are you going to dress up as well?
Happy Halloween!!Posted by antisocialite on 10/31 at 02:24 PMThe thing about STRANGERS seeing your blog - you don’t have to care what they think of you. They either like what they see and read you more - or they don’t and never come back. No skin off your back, eh? (;
However, real people? It’s kind of like having someone find your diary. You put down all the stuff in your head, trying to work your way through stuff in your life and now - people are looking at that stuff. People you see and know and talk to often.
It’s harder when it’s people you see face to face, you know? Am I making any sense? My brain hurts. Ow. (;
Posted by Poe on 10/31 at 06:43 PMI am pretty wide open with mine. Everyone and there brother knows about mine and I am okay with that, because I have made the choice to put it out there. I am a social person and it is the connections that I enjoy much more so than the “getting it off my chest” aspect. I have another personal weblog, that nobody knows about that I have used to post very personal stuff.
There are a lot of people out there that use their blogs to be able to say whatever they want anonymously…but let me ask you, if they are not “real” on their blog, how real are they in person? Some of those people are down right ugly when they are anonymous and love drama…but probably act nice as can be in person. You put yourself out there and I feel like I know you. I feel like you are real. You are who you portray on your blog and I feel good about that! I know that if we met in real life - there would be no surprises. Does that make sense?
Posted by soapbox.SUPERSTAR on 11/01 at 06:18 AMI so so so so so know what you mean. Somewhere along the way my blog life and my real life intersected. I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just did.
Personally, I feel like my blog sucks now. I used to really write about my life, but now I have to filter, filter, filter. For example, I’d love to write about stuff going on with my best friend, but I met him through blogging, and he reads my blog, and my readers are his readers, and we have like 20 mutual real life friends we met though blogging, and…
It just wouldn’t be right.
Whew, sorry to let that out in your comments but you touched on something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately too.
Posted by Karen on 11/01 at 11:27 PMat least i am not the only one. it kinda sucks. today i actually found myself replying to an email in defense of myself/blog. not in a serious situation, but it still came up…
i decided against it for now. i shouldn’t have to point out where i am trying to be funny. i don’t feel i should have to defend what or how i write things. i think my friends should ‘get it’. my readers that have never met me seem to.
Posted by daniel on 11/02 at 07:35 AMIt’s your blog. I don’t think you should have to censor yourself or defend what you write. This is a place for you to vent and write what you feel, so - if people don’t get that - screw them then! (;
Posted by Poe on 11/02 at 07:57 AM
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